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Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

High School Super Friends!

Been writing too long in my secret blog and yet I haven't mentioned my two closest friends in high school. They say high school friends are the ones who are the most unforgettable. Maybe because they were the ones who shared your heartbreaks, crushes, triumphs and dreams way back then (when you think life in high school is easy and carefree). For me they are the ones that even we haven't seen each other for quite some time, the bonding and the friendship remains. Whenever somebody is down or inspired, they are the ones who cheer you up and make your day.

Recently, I was down with mild depression. Blame it on quarter-life crisis but this is the turning point that I can't seem to find any direction in my life. Last year I got my goal of being able to meet my target salary for my job but turns out that the bargain is that my lovelife became a mess. Then everything went spiraling down on me. If it weren't for my friends I wouldn't be able to cope up (this also goes to my closest college friends, colleagues at work and former friends at the faculty). They were tirelessly listening to my rants, my sadness, the gory details of my sordid state and my never ending punch lines that even while I am crying I am still laughing with them. Sounds crazy but that's how me and my high school friends work when solving someone's problem. It even went to a point that one of my friend had to skipped her filed OT just to make sure I was OK and my other friend cancelled her manicure and pedicure session at the salon just to meet us up. Might be shallow for some but their gestures are really sweet. I remembered my Dad once talked to me about my high school friends. He told me to treasure my friendship with them because they are truest friends I ever had. We've been through a lot of ordeals in the past and for all the triumphs and heartbreaks we are still together.

Just to give you an brief background how the three of us became close friends over the years let's start with LP :)

LP - we've been classmates since elementary and our start as classmates is another story. We had a fight when we were grade 1 and our mothers came in the middle to resolve the issue. I must admit even when I was a little kid I'm a bit of a bully. :P LP and I were classmates for years but we had different set of groups and friends during those times. We became totally close during our fourth year high school. Both of us were very disappointed when we were separated from our group of friends because of re-shuffling of sections during our last year in high school. The two of us were included in the new section and since we are familiar with each other and classmates since elementary we easily bonded together. It all started out as hanging together during class breaks and checking out each other assignments. Then we became close when she encountered problems with her bestfriend and she needed someone to confide to. There are so many things that I won't forget with LP starting on our high school days and up to the present:

○ Writing letters to each other - just to cheer each other or just ranting :D

○ Days when we just want to hang out at their house. Their house is the most accessible place to our school and whenever we need to chill out or just talk about nonsense stuff we just go in their place. It is also our favorite location during class project, school play practice and cut class when we don't feel like attending our subject :)

○ Our super nerve-wracking cheating incident during our prelim exam. Our adviser distributed our test papers into different subjects just to discourage us from cheating. But we, the ever pasaways, still got ways to swap test papers. LP studied Algebra, so I exchanged my paper with her and she gave me her test paper in Religion since I was the one well-versed with the old testament books in Bible. We were almost got caught since we also need to exchange our pens because we are using different color of ink :P Hayyy!

○ Singing with our group during class breaks

○ Our cutting-classes galore. Especially during CAT days. We hate that subject! Diskarte to the highest level talaga!

○ Our favorite mango tree hangout after lunch at the back of our school library

○ LP always had this weird intuition about me when I'm having problems. Even during our HS days she knows if I'm hiding something from her. Whether it would be problems on school, job, lovelife or parents, she knows something is up.

○ We always have the same crushes but we never got into a fight. Haha. Parang tuwang-tuwa lang kami na kiligin while watching our crushes :P

○ LP was the one who helped me during our fourth year field trip to Subic. I was having my motion-sickness problem that time and she was the one patiently assisting me. Grabe, super appreciate ko yun nung high school. It spoiled our field trip experience since I was not feeling well and we were buddies so she had no choice but to help me.

○ Our 2nd term line up in top ten. Who would have thought being friends pati sa line-up ng top ten sa class magkasunod pa rin kami??? Haha

○ Our screaming fits when seeing each other. Haha. Especially pag sobrang tagal na namin nagkita ayan na!

○ Our Sound of Music play. I was the scriptwriter / producer and LP is the director :)

○ Never fails to give birthday surprises

○ LP always fetch us when she just feels like going somewhere (especially now that she has her own cars to fetch us)

○ Our always free lunch and dinner at Leslies resto. :)

○ She gave me the copy of her diary during high school days that are still in my safekeeping :)

IL - about IL she's the eldest among our group. That is why we fondly call her "Mommy". Even our relatives and friends used to call her "Mommy". Haha! She's my classmate since 2nd year high school but we were never that close. It's because she had different set of friends just like me and LP. Same story with LP, we became close during fourth year high school. At first glance, IL looked serious and the silent type. But once she get so comfortable with you, the stories, the jokes and the punch lines will begin to pour in. IL likes to write letters to us and even it's been 10 years since our high school graduation, she always manage to send us letters once in a while. LP and IL's letters are my stress reliever. It always make me laugh when I'm on my down times. She likes to dance and sing. Their house is also our favorite hang out because of the huge fields near them. My favorite memories of IL are:

○ When she agreed to star as "Maria" in our Sound of Music Play

○ Her being very supportive of us. I remembered one of her letters saying "Ipaglalaban ko pagiging top 1 mo sa class because you really deserve it!". Super touched ako nun kay IL.

○ She used to be my officemate at our first job in Alabang. Even if its not yet breaktime we always manage to sneak out going to Mcdonald's in Alabang Town Center just to talk and air out our frustrations at work.

○ She likes to collect song hits and teddy bears

○ Me, IL and LP eating halo-halo and banana-que in LP's house in Binan

○ Our Makati and Alabang escapades while applying for a job after college graduation. She always comments I walked too fast and likes to do the short cuts by passing to different basements of buildings across Ayala Avenue.

○ IL always manages to make me laugh even while I'm crying. It's because of her crazy comments and antics.

○ Very strong person despite the fact that their mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease

○ Me and IL going home together since we are on the same route during high school

○ Going to our house just to talk about college life and how we cope up together growing up

○ She's always concern on the state of my lovelife and never fails to gives advise just like LP. Laging may group hug!

○ Cried with me when she found out that my SO does not have any plans for us

○ Skipped going to the office just to hang out with us. Kami na talaga ang good influence sa friend namin!

○ Endured almost 48 hours lack of sleep going to Iloilo with us. Haha. Adik kung adik lang

○ Once filed SL just to join us on our spontaneous road trip




To LP and IL, you are one of my treasured friends. I super appreciate our talks, bondings, food trips and road trips (isama pa dyan ang out of town trips!). It's been ten years and we never ran out of things and people to discuss. I am always thankful that I have you in my life. Thank you for listening and advising. You girls never failed to make me laugh and cry at the same time. Your friendship is a constant reminder that despite the fact I have troubles I know I can survive. I am always looking forward for more trips in the future and growing up with you (ayoko ng growing old eh). We never get tired of listening to each other stories even those stories were told a hundred times. We never fail to laugh at our mistakes and it really feels good to have you in my life. You are the sweetest blessings in my life.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Fully-Loaded November

No this is not related anything to KFC Fully-Loaded meal :P. My November 2010 is full during weekends. I even forgot listing down all the things I need to buy for my Christmas shopping. Most of the time I am out with friends and meeting all of them. Oh di ba daig ko ang artista? Chos!

Just to summarize all my extra-curricular activities:

1. First week of November I did meet my HS friends and stroll around Mckinley and Alabang Town Center. No matter how many times I met with my HS friends, stories continues to pour in. Parang walang kasawa-sawa sa nakaraan.

2. I also met up with my college friends. Catch up and see what's with everyone. Nakakamiss din kasi I used to remember they were my constant companions and buddies during college. They are also my drinking buddies and defense buddies. I remembered after namin gumawa ng documentation and coding for defense susundan na yan ng inuman at kwentuhan. Ang ending: Pasado naman kami :D (may konting iyakan nga lang minsan during defense :P) And one of the reasons it's always good to meet them is because there is always a regal shocker news.

3. Second week of November, I just stayed at home. Enjoy cold nights outside my room and bury myself in my bed while reading books or listening to feel-good music. Minsan senti rin while arranging my stuffs that I can't let go. :P

4. Third week of November, I was out with my office friends. I never had so much fun with them. The stories, the laugh trip and the unforgettable lines and adventure made me really smile. It was really fun to have some friends you met from the office. Grabe, in just a few months we've been constant lunch / merienda / dinner buddies and everything was changed. I never regret leaving my previous office, since I've been comfortable with my current organization and the people working inside.Despite the not-so-good news last week, I am still happy. Office friends kept me sane (or should I say insane nalang?) haha

5. Fourth week of November, still so many plans pouring in. Just last week I went out with my office friends again this time in Nuvali and Tagaytay, then attended the dedication for my graduate school friend for her baby, attended the wake of my Elementary / HS friend and lastly met with my college friends with B and her husband. I really missed B since she was working at Dubai with her husband. We were surprised that she already tied the knot but we were very happy for her. So many things to do and share and yet time is so short. What's important is that I was able to see and meet them all during weekends.

For now I would really like to travel and enjoy time with my friends. To be honest it was like a self-discovery and another realization. I discovered and realized that I am in no hurry to settle down because I am still having fun being single ( even in a relationship). I want to travel, explore and dream more. I want to make sure that if ever I bid goodbye to my single-blessedness I have already experienced at least two-thirds of my bucket list. Life is too short so I have to make most out of it.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Happy Sabado at Intramuros!

Last Saturday, I did have a blast with my office friends. I've been with my new company for a few months and I must say I feel comfortable with the people I am working with. Me and my friends started out as lunch buddies and later evolved as merienda / dinner buddies. I never knew people who share same interest like me. What I like about our new group is that everyone is so thrifty and fun to hang out.

Last Saturday, after the long planning (long daw kunwari) and discussion we decided to go out on a weekend as group and stroll around Intramuros. The day before we went for our Intramuros tour we endure the long flights of stairs while doing the fire drill. Our feet aches due from the activity but it never stopped us from doing our weekend getaway.

I never laugh so much while talking and walking with them. Grabe parang every minute puro tawanan at asaran lang ata ginawa namin. Good thing our guy buddies are so game and forgiving. After our Intramuros trip we indulge ourselves on spontaneous trip to Wensha Spa to relax and massage. Thank God the boys agreed to experience going to the spa for the first time.

First their profile, I know they would clobber and massacre me in case they accidentally read my blog posts but I can't help but laugh thinking about them with their secret initials... haha

MR (alias Marian Rivera hehehe) - isa sa mga cute ko na friends. Super thoughtful and sweet, masarap kasama. Ay naku super hilig din kumain kaya kasama ko sya lagi with our other group dahil sa merienda pag free kami. Malapit na rin ikasal kaya excited kami for her. The sad part she's going to Singapore to settle down

AM - (alias Angel m-Aquino hehe) - isa rin sa cute friends. Super bully na bata pero masayang kasama. Haha. Grabe super makwento at makulit. Imagine pumunta kami ng National Museum gusto lahat hawakan. Sigang bata. tsk tsk

JG (alias John lloyd Gruz hehe) - isa sa pinakabata sa group. Nakakatuwang kasama kasi nakakaaliw kausapin. Para tuloy akong may little brother. Grabeng kumain pero di tumataba. Ang saya din i-Q&A dahil sa mga fearless answers nya. Until now wala pa rin gf kasi ayaw daw nya ng commitment (chos)! Siguro nga wag muna kasi for sure di na sya makakasama samin dahil sa sobrang bait nya baka ma-under sya ng magiging GF nya.

RS (alias Rafael Sossell hehe) - Cynic pero artistic. Naks! Baka sapakin ako nito pag nabasa nya ito. Super aliw ang camera ng batang ito at super like nya ang photography. Impress din ako sa pagiging well-versed nya sa arts at painting kasi nag-ppaint din pala sya.

Situation 1: While we were entering the National Museum bawal ang DSLR ni RS
MR: Uy JG, maliit yung sayo pwede. (Ok kayo mag isip ano yung maliit na yun)

Situation 2: Me and JG while walking outside the San Agustin Church
after our museum tour
Me: Ang ganda ng gown nung una natin nakita na bride.
Super like ko
JG: Eh di sa wedding mo kulay pink yung gown mo. (Serious tone
pa yan ha)
(Grabe, debutante lang ako diba... 18th bday ko daw di wedding
:P)

Situation 3: While we were convincing RS to join us on going to Spa
MR: RS sige na sama ka na samin pa-massage tayo
RS: Ayoko ipagalaw ang katawan ko (haha. taray!)


Situation 4: While waiting for JG before
going to the massage room
Me: Ang tagal naman ng batang yun
AM: Hindi
kaya nagtampo kasi sinabihan ni MR na maliit (based on situation 1)
RS: Hindi pinag-aagawan na yun sa loob. Haha
MR: RS puntahan mo na baka kung napano yun sa loob

RS, went back to the boys locker looking for JG then comes out laughing. Kaya pala natagalan si JG kasi hindi nya alam gagawin sa sash ng robe nya na sumisilip ang kanyang upper torso. haha. Conscious pala sya.
Haha!!!

Situation 5: On our buffet table while eating
MR (asking the boys): Mag jajacuzzi kayo? (Haha, ang sagwa pakinggan)

Situation 6: While paying on the reception of the Spa
MR: Naku mali yung charge satin
Full Body Massage yung charge eh Foot Massage lang tayo
JG (first time nagpa-spa at nag enjoy): Uy, pwede tayo bumalik! Bitin yung spa eh!


Situation 7: Leaving the Spa
JG: Uy pa-picture tayo sa labas!
AM: Hindi ba magtataka Tita mo pag nakita yang picture na yan?
JG: Bakit?
AM: Eh syempre may nakalagay na 24hrs dun sa Spa, baka isipin na Tita
mo kung sang "Spa" ka galing tapos ganyan pa ang buhok mo. (JG took a shower
earlier and the gel in his hair was washed off. So he looked like bagong gising.
:))


JG makes us laugh all. :P


I'm going to ask for the great pictures taken by J, R and A.

Thanks for the great time J, R, M and A. I hope this is just the first and we will have a follow up on our gala trip!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Spontaneous Trip

Last long weekend was a fun one, though I never planned any vacation (Undas pa naman). I was looking forward on sleeping my favorite room and counting the list of books I want to read during vacation when my HS friend texted me she wanted to go out with us due to pressure from work. I was gladly to accept her invitation with our other friend. My friend wanted us to have an spontaneous trip. Be it in Cebu, Dumaguete, Subic, Baguio… anywhere as long as far from their house. But since it's a long weekend and "Undas" season we couldn't even pass-by from the horrendous traffic in the SLEX. All flights are fully-booked and the next date available is November 2 (Kamusta naman yun). We tried checking bus reservations going to North (Ayun kamusta rin naman yun). We ended up pigging out at Stackers Mckinley. Akala ko naman kung anong meron sa Mckinley because I heard a lot of nice things na it’s a nice place to hang-out yun pala wala lang. As in WALA! Much better pa if we went to Eastwood or spend the day at Nuvali in Sta. Rosa, there we can rent a boat and have fun plus drown ourselves to coffee and pastries. :P

Part of our itinerary in Mckinley is to visit the creepy museum entitled "Myth of the Human Body" but since we didn't know the direction (partida may sasakyan pa yan!) and we end up again to another horrendous traffic along Fort Bonifacio area. Since it will be a long line of traffic and already 7:00PM we decided to go to Alabang Town Center for a stroll and coffee. It would have been fun if we reached the museum because it would be fit for the season of Halloween :)

When we reached Alabang Town Center, we ended up doing window shopping. Unexpectedly, we end up buying expensive tsinelas from All Flip-Flops because of sale (minsan lang mangyari every year) and proceed to our ATC goal to drink coffee and have a long chat.

Well, despite the fact that our original plan did not push through I still had lots of fun with my HS friends. I love talking with them and have the best time. I always miss them. Being in mid-20's is difficult (not to mention the dreaded quarter life crisis) but having friends like them made me want to thank our Lord. They are the source of my joy and the one who knew most of my plans. Kung wala sila for sure windang ang pagkatao ko. I remembered I suggested to my HS friend na itago nalang natin sa letrang L, I want to work in abroad in due time. Ito sinabi ang mga nya na natawa ako:

Me: Gusto ko magwork sa abroad. Mas malaki sweldo dun
L: Gaga, hwag! Paano kita tatawagan at pupuntahan kung nasa ibang lupalop ka na! Mahal ang long-distance!
Me: Hello pag andun naman ako libre accomodation nyo pag nagbakasyon kayo. O di ba trip to abroad! Haha
L: Wala ako pakialam noh! Isa pa pano kita susugurin sa bahay nyo kung MIA ka. Bruha ibang level ang saya pag kumpleto tayong tatlo.

So there I came to think that when I leave, they are one of those persons close to me that I will miss badly.

To my HS friends L and I, you are one of my most treasured friends.

Monday, September 27, 2010

College Friends!

I would say I am blessed to have great friends from college. They were the ones I gathered support and strength while pulling an all-nighter or working on a research paper / defense, assignments and projects. My college life wouldn't be happy and fulfilling if it weren't for these people… they were the ones who made my day bright and even I was worrying if my parents would be able to afford my tuition. They made me feel that life in college is sure a breezy and fun one.

I wouldn't say their names because I value privacy and silence… anyway, here they are…

K - of all my college girlfriends, she's still the closest friend I had. We've been classmates since first semester of 2000. We shared a lot of common links, our love for poetry and short stories, cute guys and showbiz (haha :)). She had a talent in writing and I used to remember that she dreamed of becoming a journalist but ended up in the wonderful world of Information Technology (haha). Anyway, she is currently doing good in her career. Up to now, we are still meeting up for some girl talks over coffees, ice creams, pizza, pasta, salads and any foods we feel like eating at the moment. She's my constant shopping buddy and text mates when we're not busy at the office. Recently, we are on the same wavelength regarding on quarter life crisis. It was good because when we opened up we realized we are currently treading same wave of thoughts regarding our future.

There are so many memories of her and one of the most remarkable I guess was when we went together for some serious soul searching prayer at St. Claire chapel and of course her sweet letters reminding me that friends may come and go but true ones often stay in your heart and in your life.

M - Who would have thought this tough and best looking guy in school would be my life savior after college graduation? We became close because of our common denominator: my ex-boyfriend. He was my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He was the one who helped me see things that are not worth fighting for. When me and my college best friend and ex-bf fell apart, he was there as a friend willing to cheer me up and made me see that things happen for a reason. I would never forget the day when he confirmed to me the thing every girl doesn't want to hear from their ex-bf's bestfriend. He sided with me despite the risks of ruining his friendship with his bestfriend. Up to this day I am still grateful for him. Currently he is newly-married and a proud father to his 1-month old daughter.

Today, I was able to talk to him again in Yahoo Messenger. There was so many things left unsaid and I must say we both grew up. I was really happy for him because he seems contented and proud of his new status. Before I talked to him to cry my heart out in frustration and now we are laughing at our distant memories. He told me that whatever happened in the past has a reason. We both know it since we were being blessed with lovelives which is very far different from the past.

CJ - He was my college best friend. We met through common friends and we instantly clicked after we talked. He was very talented in drawing and programming. Too bad he wasn't able to land a career in those areas. He was my constant buddy during 1st sem of 2002 up to our graduation. Secretly, I had a crush on him (or should I say everyone in school knows it) but I was too afraid to risk everything for our friendship. He was very protective and very concerned with me. I really missed those times when we just had to hang out at their house talking endlessly and playing jokes on each other or just eating banana-que and drinking Coke in her aunt's sari-sari store. My favorite memory of him was when I got rejected applying for a known call center in Makati. This happened after our college graduation. I was bawling and crying like a kid in Greenbelt park. It was too embarrassing but I couldn't help but vent out my frustration and stress. He was there calmly speaking to me and cheering me up. He put his hand over my shoulder to stop me from crying. All the way from Makati to Laguna he didn't let go of my hand. Up to now, those memories still make me cry but I always thought God has better purpose for me since I landed a career in IT. Something I always wanted from the very start.

Recently, I was organizing my inbox messages in my cellphone, I was surprised when some of his previous messages are stored in my SIM card… here is one of the most memorable message he sent to me:


"You'll pass it! Tsaka ur always in my prayers naman e. Lam m, u've been through
a lot noh I've never met a stronger person than u kaya believe in urself, to u
its another challenge nalang d b? Pass yan, I know you can do it!"

It was dated August 09, 2004 around 12:03 in the morning… he sent me that message when I was applying for a job. I think it work, because I was hired after :).

Too bad our friendship didn't survive after this due to complicated situations but I will always be thankful that even we shared only two years of friendship, he would always still remain in my heart. It made me sad how our friendship fell apart. Honestly, I missed him and his constant companionship, but since he is married, I only wish the best for them and hoping he is happy wherever he is.

For now, these are the people who are quite remarkable in my college life. People who shared my thoughts, laughters and tears. People who made significant contributions and helped me in my current journey.

Next Planned Article: High School Friends!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What's UP???

I’ve been very busy lately and haven’t got any time to update my so-called “online journal”. This April and May I am swamped with lots of activities. It could vary from office, personal, friends and family. Though I am tired sometimes I really enjoy spending more time with people I really care about.

Things I did while I was “out” on this blog:

1. Attend my sister’s graduation - I am one proud ATE!



2. Went to Iloilo for vacation with my HS friends – our annual planned out of
town trips.




3. Join our company outing – first time I participated



4. Found new friends and group in the office – I was a loner for 1 and a half
years.



5. Start jogging again with my family



6. Visit Pink sisters and Poor Claire chapel – it’s been a while since I
visited my favorite chapel
7. Bonding with my family
8. Been hooked on Glee series – kinda late to join the bandwagon but I really
enjoyed watching and listening to their catchy songs



9. Meet up with my friends – I did have fun because after six long years,
was able to come back again to Padis. Dance, drink and sing like there’s no
tomorrow
10. Been able to meet my BF’s ex (finally!) – promise no blood-gushing boo-boos
or any violent stuff. Just plain simple “nice meeting”
11. My unnerving shopping expedition :P – (Uh oh, here we go again)



12. Created my personal twitter like diary – as in a hard copy journal of my own
13. Created my bucket list – which I will post it here (sooner or later)



14. I cast my vote during May 10, 2010 National Elections



15. Got my yearly flu vaccine



16. Process reviews of our projects in the office
17. Laugh a lot since meeting new friends
18. Found a nice “resto” somewhere in Circle, Mandaluyong. Me and significant
other enjoyed dining there when we have budgets



19. Will attend my friend’s wedding this weekend



20. Will attend baptism of my second cousin’s child – Again, chosen as the
godmother (and the list of kids under my care grew longer and longer…)


Plans this mid-year


1. Renew my passport – so I can try travelling outside the country
2. Enroll again on graduate school – just like in my previous post, this is the
final straw!
3. Create a proposed dissertation and prepare for the comprehensive exam
4. Create a massive photo album for all my recent trips!
5. Buy a storage media as a backup for the humungous data and files (that is
worth 2-3years of information)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Long Delayed Posts....


NOTE: I am still contemplating if I should post this private thoughts of mine. I already posted this on my Friendster blog but change my mind and erased my whole collection of blogs. This entry is more like of thinking out loud and not to offend anyone. This is not the time to regret the what-ifs and the past but rather look back and be reasonable enough to think that things happen for a reason. I am always a firm believer that sometimes things don't happen for no apparent reason. God always have a grandeur plan for us. It is up to us how to grab the opportunity and use it for the present.


I know it’s been ages since the last time I wrote here. Summer break is almost over and I’m really savoring the thought and the time that I would be able to squeeze some of my precious times in any outings left for me and my friends and family. I am also re-reading the Twilight saga to really feel the depth and emotions of the books and of course be close to my so-called ideal crush Edward Cullen (lol at major kaadikan to…)

Speaking of Twilight Saga, re-reading it enabled my volatile mind to picture some people in my past who I relate to the protagonists of the story. While imagining the scenario in my mind, I remember one of college friend and I miss him a lot. He’s the sun in my cloudy and gloomy days in my college days. It really seems strange that after all these years I am still yearning for his company and hoping to patch things where our bitter and unexpected separation took us. Sometimes at night he still appear in my dreams like nothing changed and in my dreams we were both good friends. How I wish I could say the same things right now.

Recently, a friend of ours passed away. During those periods, that was the time when he started to appear on my dreams. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night and felt the cold sensation of his touch. It was a weird and sickening feeling. After four years of not contacting each other, that sad episode was the time I remembered him. Before I used to talk to his aunt and ask his whereabouts, but after a while I decided to cut the ties to his family to let him go and help me focus on my present life along with the people included in it.

Just this night everything changed, I really didn’t know what pushed me to organize my old stuff and found my old diary tucked in the hidden nook of my closet. The reason for keeping the diary in the darkest corner of my room is to forget all those not-so good memories and the past that contributed to my almost depression. I didn’t realize that my old diary was full of HIM! I even quoted messages that came from our conversation in cellphone text. I can’t believe myself. Who in their right mind would do that? I think I was just too blind in those times where I know the answers to my questions before. I won’t elaborate further, but let’s just say he was really something for me. I know it’s the past and yet he still haunt me in my dreams like he was the ghost I wanted to avoid forever.

But what would happen if one day I came across with him in an unexpected place and time? What would I do? Would I dare to talk to him and ask how he is doing? Would I run and hide like a maniac while avoiding him? Would I casually walk in front of him like nothing is bothering me? I am definitely clueless. Reading his old letters reminded me of friendship lost and bonds that were deeply severe. How can I let go of something precious in my life? During our college days he was the one who encourage me to do things beyond my dreams and expectations. I cried buckets and scream like hell when I’m sad and mad. But despite all my euphoria and craziness, he was still my very bestfriend I needed and depended on. Up to this day, I am still grateful for his simple words that became my guiding purpose in life. In some way he helped me see myself clearly and subconsciously, he took part in achieving my dreams and goals. I was just sad that I wasn’t able to show him what became of me. What I reached and how he became part of it all.

Every time I walk on a hallway filled with people, every time I stroll to a chaotic mall and every time I browse books on my favorite bookstores, I try to picture what would it be like when we’re still very best friends. I remember those chinky eyes lit up when he laugh, his curvy smile I love, the strong hold of his arms while I walk clumsily and the narrow slits of his eyes when he’s upset or mad. I even remember his repulse on the sight of an eight-legged creature called spiders. Beyond imagination, up to this very moment I try to ask myself what did go wrong that our friendship did not survive the unexpected odds hurled towards us.

When somebody asked me what would be my very wish, I always thought if it was possible to turn back time and try to correct things that should have happened. I used to blame fate and destiny for this surly output of my present, but when I look back and think hard, I know no one was to blame but me. It was my choice to let him go, it was my choice not to be friends with him anymore and it was my choice for keeping two important people in my life and yet lost them both on different reasons. If I did take risks and dare to be more open before, I guess my life; our lives would be very different. But who knows what’s in store for us? It is always a choice. Might as well live with it and cherish the thought that we might be not friends anymore but hoping in time, we can pick up the pieces we left and start over again.

Hayyy, my sentiments are soooo long it might bored a lot of people to tears… Don’t get me wrong, I love my present life. I love the current person in the center of my universe right now. I believe it is still fate that brought us together here. Siguro Lord knows that I am not only looking for a coolest guy bestfriend but also a great partner (hopefully in the future) in life. My college bestfriend was part of that memorable college past. Those great memories (just omit the bitter ones) of us would always be cherished but I want to be happy in my present life, which I am right now. I am always thankful to have someone special in my life now. He was not just a simple boyfriend but also a great friend. He’s someone who I can talk for hours on phone and in person and someone who brings happiness in my life. Lord knows how many times we fought, disagreed and even separated for a while but we did surpass that. When I was about to fall in my lack of enthusiasm in my previous career he helped me see myself clear. When I’m in one of my sour moods he listens to me and just hugs me telling me everything would be alright. We dreamed together and planned a lot of things, one step at a time we manage to get them (kahit mabagal yung progress… at least my progress! Haha). My bf always teases me about my college bestfriend but never did he feel jealous about it. Siguro dahil meron kami parehong agreement kaya it was never brought up as big deal. Hahaha. Whatever our reasons, one thing is for sure… I love him and he loves me. I am glad for what we have right now and I am happy that whatever I lost in the past, I got it in my present and in a much higher value. Kahit pagsama-samahin pa lahat ng precious moments in the past, nothing beats the PRESENT. :D