From: http://www.myemospace.com
I know in myself that I am independent. But there were times I feel lost and confused. Lost because I feel like I don't have someone in my life who will take good care of me, that it took me a while to find which direction in life I am heading and confused because I really didn't know what to do with my life if I'm going to end my relationship.
From: deviantarttattoosgirls.blogspot.com
I must admit after the break up it left me into broken pieces… but it wasn't as painful like what I felt last January and February 2011. I know earlier this year that things have fell apart and changed but I am too afraid to admit that we cannot fix things the way they should be. And I am living in denial that some issues and problems we encountered last year cannot be resolved in just a few days or months. I know for the past 7 months I've been trying to hold on to broken shards of glass which is the representation of our fragile relationship. No matter how much I tried to fix and glue the pieces, the glass won't come back in its true form and those broken pieces I tried to patch left me wounded as ever. It hurts to see someone you used to loved cry at the very thought of ending things together. But it will be much worse if I still try to hold on knowing the truth that there would be no "us" in the future. I got so scared when he admitted to me that as of this moment there are no plans and goals for us. Only excuses and false hopes just to ward off the fear of losing our relationship… It hurts because the love you nurtured for years has fallen apart. It hurts because the promises and dreams you built were just castles in the sand. It hurts because the words he hurled at me during our endless arguments left me questioning our relationship and its value. It hurts because no matter how much I tried to see the light of things for us, I know that I am just delaying my burdens to ease the pain. Those delays did not help me and it just carry on for so many months that reached into my saturation and breaking point.
I am sad but relieved. Sad because I know there would be a special place for him in my heart which contains our glorious memories together. In those 6 years we've been together we also built friendship and connections. But I need to make a heart-wrenching decision. Decision that would help me move forward and start another chapter of my life. I feel relieved, because I know that I did the right decision which is to find my true happiness. Start my life with new hopes and promises. Dreams that is not built in sand castles but on sturdy rock which is a foundation for the better future. As I closed this chapter in my life, I want to start my life in a dreams that became reality and embrace the future with a smile and forgot the tears that fell from my eyes saying goodbye.
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